“I’ve been laying awake for hours it seems. My first thought was you, my second thought was her. And then this insane thought of all the people I ever dated came about and I started questioning rather or not I was present enough to love you how you deserved to be loved. I started questioning every ounce of my own heart. Quickly caught with my own voice “I’m a good person!” Isn’t that crazy? I’m a good person I tell myself but the second someone wants to love me I think of as many things as I can that has me debating every ounce of my own worth. Here’s that voice again, “I’m a good person.” I begin to think of you. This time a little more presently. I think of your heart, and the way your intentions align with your actions. You’re beautiful, and my God so graceful. You are exactly what I dreamt of. My exact voice of prayer. You are every light that has cornered my darkest walls. I’m panicking, loosing sight of you. That voice is screaming at me to knock it off. I just want it to stop, but no matter how much I want to believe my worth has been shaped by those who broke me, it gets louder. “I am a good person.” and louder, “I AM A GOOD PERSON.” on and on and on, the voice travels through my mind, making it’s way like an active sample of life. Incase you don’t know, you are worth the love presented to you, you are worth the love that didn’t know what they were letting go of. You are worth being loved in return.”— I am a good person.
(via shenayetylene)
